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*My Crows* *My Art* *My Way*

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Hi Everyone!
Hope you're all well!

This was one of those posts again, where I was like, should I write it or not. But, I did. I have always tried to be real on here and I'm not going to stop. If I can help anyone when I write these posts, that makes me smile!

A couple of things happened over the past two weeks, that almost put me back into my old story, but I didn't do it! As you know, the first thing I did for my 90 day challenge, was cut my hair all off. Done with hiding! When I did this, someone close to me, stated, you look so ugly and repeated this statement several times and asked, why did I cut my hair like that.

"Before", I would have cried, had a confrontation and felt terrible inside. But, this time, I just sat quietly and told myself how much I loved me. And, that I am so proud of me. I actually thanked the person (inside), for showing me how much of an amazing person I am, and hope one day, they will feel the same about themselves.

It's hard, especially when you might have wanted approval from someone, but the only approval you need is from you! We all go through so many things in our lives. I truly believe, when you "see you", when you "be you", when you "love you", it helps! You've got your back. There is no shaming yourself, only loving!

I would like to share with you my haircut! No makeup, the greys are showing and everything else! LOL! The true me!
I tell you my story, not to get sympathy, but to say, Honour You! You Are Amazing!

Not to long ago, (2015), when I was at my lowest and didn't realize how much I didn't love me and also didn't realize how much I had to heal inside, I was getting ready to go to Iraq! Yes, I was! (I won't go into the details) I just wanted to run! I wanted to escape! I grew my hair almost down to my bum, died it dark and got my passport. Fortunately, none of that happened, because of some special friends.

That is the one thing I have to stress, please, when you are feeling low, and I mean low, never stop talking and cry! Let it out!! I hate to say it, no matter how many people are there for you, it has to be you do it! But, know you can!!

I would like to share with you, my passport picture. I'm so happy, I didn't give up on me!

As I type this, I'm crying! I never thought I would share this part of my life, but I felt I needed to! We all deal with so much stuff and the world seems sometimes, like it's going crazy.

Please, let yourself be you! Be you for everything! Love You! Don't apologize for being you, no matter how weird you think you are. Honour who you are! Some people might think you're nuts and might not want to be around you anymore and it might hurt. But, you're important!!! I dare you, to be you! Never dull your light for anyone!!!

I finished a little painting. It's 4" x 6", on paper.
"Be You For Everything"

I'll leave you with pictures of my flowering bush, in the front of our home.
And, here are the hostas. They haven't flowered yet. 

Thank you for letting me share this post and thank you for reading it! I'm grateful for all of you!
Big Hugs 😃

43 comments:

  1. Love your painting, your garden, your smile, and your hard-won courage.

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  2. I love you with your shorter hair. Makes you look younger. You look so much happier. I had hair down to my waist a few years back when I decided to chop it off. Best decision I ever made.

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  3. Brava for not conforming to someone else's idea of what you should be. And thank you for sharing your story. Very uplifting.

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  4. I love you BECAUSE you are YOU, Stacy! I am so happy that you did not leave us. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

    Many blessings and a lot of love to you always!

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  5. It looks great, and... Well, I'll just say that we're all going through stuff, and there's a certain type of person who tries to feel better about themselves by knocking other people down. The best thing I ever did might have been identifying these types when I see them and NOT measuring my life by what they say. Good for you for seeing that, too.

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  6. Stacy, I just want to add that long hair or short makes little difference to me, you are a beautiful woman either way! Hugs!

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  7. I love the happiness on your beautiful smiling face. Thank you for being resilient, and brave and vulnerable.

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  8. You are strong and beautiful, Stacy, and the best thing of all is that you know it in your heart too! You are blossoming like the flowers in your garden!

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  9. Well done! It's hard to just be what we are, and it's great that you can be you without any cover up. Enjoy! Love the new painting! Thanks for sharing the garden photos. BIG hugs, Valerie

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  10. If you had a "Deadpool" make-over you still couldn't be "ugly"...you smile would shine through and brighten the saddest soul :D I was 17 when I first cut my hair off...now at 54 I love it short..and my mum STILL tells me she hates it lol
    Can't imagine you hiding that smile behind a burka...not for long anyway XXX

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  11. What person would say you're ugly? Get that negative jerk out of your life.
    Glad friends stepped in for you. Your life is in a much better place now.

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  12. Aw, love how inspiring this post is! Absolutely adore your new haircut. So sorry someone close to you was so negative about it, but I'm glad you didn't let that bring you down. (Too many people seem to have a grudge against shorter hairstyles, sadly. I will never understand why.) And your latest painting is sooo cute--the glasses are such a fun addition!

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  13. you Stacy my love are a shine beacon to all that exist, you are strong, and kind, generous and sweet, clever and talented. The person that said your hair is ugly has serious issues and we should pity them. You look adorable with short hair, thankyu for being you and opening your heart. So many people that have long hair wear it pulled back in a ponytail or messy bun all the time that they might as well have short hair lol, don't you find that? When I decided to cut my long hair that was why I cut it, I wore it in a bun so much I thought , heck it might as well be short, I have never gone back. I know your hair cutting was more than a beauty choice, it sounds symbolic in your choosing and has a real importance to you,, I think you are very brave and generous to share this journey of the birth of the new Stacy, its been quite a ride lol,, sending my love to you! You are an inspiration!

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  14. Oh Sweetie...this amazing post had me in tears too!
    How could anyone say you looked ugly? You are still as beautiful as you always have been...and are much, much braver than most people.
    I can't even begin to express how grateful I am to you for sharing your life experiences with us. So much of what you've said here I can relate to 100%. You are definitely not alone in those painful feelings of low self-esteem...except, you have risen above them! I am SO happy for you!!
    Hopefully, I'll someday manage to do the same...as you are teaching me so much...oh thank you for sharing this, Sweetie...with all my heart! :))

    Oh and your gorgeous little painting...oh WOW!!!

    I love your little flowering bush too. I've never seen one of those before...but it is so pretty.:))

    Sending you Much Love & Hugs xoxoxo

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  15. The only reason why someone would say that to you is because they are having problems. Short hair looks good on you I love that smile! It looks like you're laughing inside.

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  16. First of all, I think your hair LOOKS FANTASTIC short. I love it. It unhides that glorious smile of yours. I don't even want to know who said that you looked ugly. I don't want the feelings that inspire in me to reach them. But that person has to be a very unhappy individual. Only someone like that fails to see beauty when it smiles at them so brightly. Nothing you can do for him or her. We can't open someone else's eyes or heart for them.

    I adore the bespectacled crew. Perfect statement, too.

    You are loved, my sweet Stacy. And you should always be happy to know your all around beauty has been soul-food for many of us.

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  17. Just got mine shorn tight I call it. Always fun to try something new

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  18. What an amazing post, I am so pleased that you wrote and shared it here.
    Love the photograph of you, what a fabulous smile you have.
    I also love your painting, and your garden looks very good.

    My good wishes

    All the best Jan

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  19. First and foremost you are beautiful. I have always told you that. Second this person that said that to you is so miserable with themselves that putting others down is the only way they can feel good about themselves. With that said shame on them. You are an amazing young woman with so much love and caring you make the world shine. I am sorry you were put through this. Your strength and stamina won again and you should be proud of YOU. I am. Your are is a reflection of who you are beauty. I love seeing photos of your garden.

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  20. Oh, dear Stacy! You are beautiful inside out, and you continue to amaze and inspire me as you share your story through your art.

    Always, remember that other people's opinions about us our none of our business. Continue to smile, shine and be you! Much love, my friend...BIG HUGS!

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  21. Great story, thanks for sharing it and you look amazing to me. As for the other person you mentioned was "close" to you. I don't think that they are really "close" to you. They seem like a dick. Make that dickhead. But you Stacy, are amazing. Keep being you, baby!

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  22. Such a tender and true person you are Stacy. Beautiful in every way. xoxo

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  23. Stacy what I am most proud of you for, in this post, is your ability to see that the person who felt the need to comment your hair and tear you down for it is the one with the tragic defect/issue and lacking in self-regard.

    I don't know who they are or what age they are but, in my life, it was easy to cut off those people in my own circles with the exception of family. I have had to realize that family will always have a special hierarchy and f'd up dynamic that is so outside of anything else we may find ourselves building or involved with in our lives.

    I'll just choose a rather funny example to share. So, my mother grew up in the 40's and 50's. Poodle skirts, saddle shoes etc. Somewhere in my 20's I took to wearing loose fitting clothing, especially pants. Call them baggy, wide cut, whatever. To this day my mother can't help but comment that she wishes I would wear pants that "fit" me. lol Now, when I met Sofie, her mother is almost the same age as mine and she makes similar comments about how kids today dress etc and, you guessed it, about my pants. :) It's a generational thing, obviously, but I chose to see that they can't help it or won't make the effort to change their thinking because they've atrophied in that way. They stopped growing and feel threatened that the world has left them behind.

    Change is scary. Change is unknown and threatening for so many. Now, I can laugh at it and let it roll off me but the point here is that I chose to do that work for myself to get past it because my only other choice was to allow that relationship with my own mother to disappear as well. I have to limit the time I spend around her as the years go on. That's ok. I can love her fully in the time we do spend and then walk away when the crazy comes out. lol

    Growth is equivalent to change. You've grown immensely. You've changed SO much. You will continue to because of who you are and because we, and by we I mean all of us 50 and under, are privileged to have grown up in a world that has been opened so much larger for us. We have access to so much more, see so much more thanks to technology, and can understand so much more than the last generations could have ever hoped to. And we pass that forward, hopefully, in all of our interactions and what we share.

    You're a shining star! I'd say "never change" but that would be silly. DO change, keep growing, searching, exploring and finding more within each day.

    THE BIGGEST OF CROW HUGS!

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  24. Hugs Stacy..you are a super-gorgeous soul and a powerful- beautiful woman inside and outside..love your hair..you rock it girl ! Glad you are shining on...awesome!! Love your art, such a soulful little sweetling....so magical.. and your garden looks magnificent..thanks for always sharing your heart and spirit and being YOU...the world is better for having you in it! Shine on kindred sister!

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  25. Beautiful inside and out I would say! Very wise to realize that it is "their" baggage about themselves and nothing to do with you. I truly believe the way we feel about ourselves and our world inside our minds is what we see outside when we look. You see beauty and wisdom and value - others only see their tiny little mind that lives in fear of everything. Good for you.

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  26. Stacy, I'm so proud of you, my Beautiful Soul Friend!!!! Your short hair is GORGEOUS!!! CAW! CAW! CAW!!!!!!

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  27. Like your flowering bush. Simple and pretty.

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  28. OMG how could someone say that to you....or anyone. But thankfully you are strong and I love your positive attitude and wonderfully positive post. UGOGIRL. Your photo is awesome! Thank goodness you did not go on that trip. I would never have known the real you.
    That little dude with the glasses and headband looks like a hippie crow! Love him.

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  29. First of all thank you for this blog. You are utterly and totally so right with this. Your beauty shines, you do not need lots of hair for that, I adore what you did, what you wrote and how you shared this with us as it will help so many people to do the same. I am in the process of doing just that and had a similar conversation with my sistwe the other day, Always being used to wearing make up and looking the best i could i now just keep the make up for times i want to enjoy it for myself. I am becoming me, outside and inside, I told my sister. I am who i am, i dont care what others think, i just want to be me and enjoy IMPORTANT stuff not surface polish. So yes, i am a hundred per cent with you here, and i have recently begun to enjoy my fun dark side, so i am thinking about showing that off more in my appearance ..... just for me :) x

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  30. Your smile and inner beauty is what always catches me first about you ... you just beam when you smile. That is who you are ... long hair, short hair, blue hair ...whatever. I always joke with my husband as he goes bald ... that I didn't marry him for his hair! good thing ;) What matters is the person you are within, and that is a beautiful woman. Whomever this is that could not get past a shallow statement like the length of your hair isn't worth the bother. Keep being your beautiful self!

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  31. Stacy, you are just stunning.
    You shine so very brightly & you're such an inspiration..
    thank you for being real.
    Hugs!

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  32. I couldn't agree with you more about loving yourself and being "you". Life is short and being someone else to make others happy will only make us unhappy in the long-run. I am glad you didn't hop on the plane and escape to a different life. Sounds like you have grown and learned a lot since then. Not sure why anyone would say anything bad about your haircut. You are beaming in the picture and you look beautiful and happy. :)
    Hugs!
    ~Jess

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  33. I was sad to hear that you have a person like that in your life. You are right, believe in yourself. You are beautiful and talented. God does not make mistakes. You have grown and should be proud of that. I could say don't listen to those people but they do hurt don't they no matter what. You will heal though and come through stronger than ever. You are a lovely person and deserve better. I wanted to tell you that the pictures I bought Laura now has up in her living room in her new house. Bless......
    Janice

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  34. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are thoughtful and talented and amazing. Be you. Because you are loved exactly as you are. Hugs!

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  35. My dearest and most beautiful friend, thank you for sharing this touching story with all of us. There isn't a thing that is ugly about you...inside or outside! By sharing your story, you have given another soul hope...mine. For the past three to four years I have suffered with health and family issues and it has caused many problems and irrational behavior. You give me hope where there was none. I can change some things and handle others. Thank you my dear friend. I love you and your smile so much!

    Your art is always very beautiful and I adore your love of nature, too!

    All My Love
    ❤💕❤💕❤

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  36. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you didn't move! I love your smile and I don't know why anyone would think it's okay to spout such rude cruelty. Whatever you do with your hair, that's your choice, you are a beautiful person who brings light and joy to so many.

    Your flower bush is also so pretty.

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  37. I love how real you are, Stacy! You are beautiful inside and out. You SHINE! And you are so right ~ When you are in a dark place, no matter how much support you have, you are the one who has to has to climb out and you have to choose to do it. Self love is critical, and I would add self forgiveness and self kindness. I'm glad that you came through the lowest time in your life. You bring happiness to so many others. Love your crow with the glasses and headband, but even more the crow and the beautiful header painting. Sending you BIG HUGS!

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  38. Thank you for sharing that, Stacy. People can be so cruel, kids included. Don't listen to them. Just don't listen.

    I think you're cool and incrrrrrrrrrrrrredibly talented. I bet those people need an app to draw a crow.

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  39. Thanks for being you. Hugs (())

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  40. Short hair is not my cuppa of tea. My Mams had hers short for over 40 years and states it's more comfortable. You suit your short and still look adorably cute.

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  41. Happy Solstice, i answered your question on the baby wipes lol. xxx

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  42. You are one of the most beautiful people I know.
    Hugs

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Thank you for taking the time to comment! I'm very grateful! Your words are very special to me! Big Hugs!