Hi Everyone! (long post, get a drink!)
I want to thank you for your kind comments on my last post and thank you for accepting me, for who I am. I can't explain how it feels, to look at my blog and see me. I am smiling inside! "I'm not trying to be someone else or cover up anymore!"
This week, no art, but another major lesson!
Remember, at the beginning of the year, I vowed to deal with every situation different, especially ones that had been happening over and over!
Well, one thing that I have tried to deal with, kept coming up. Even though I have forgave certain people in my life and forgave myself and felt that everything was healed, for things to change, there was one thing I still needed to to!
"Truly Let Go and Trust"
This situation came up. Before, I would have yelled, got upset and went and had 4 hamburgers. Seriously! I can understand why people turn too food or alcohol or even drugs, thinking this is making them feel better! One of the reasons, why I get so upset, because damage has been done, and money had to be spent to repair things.
Well, I didn't do any of this! I kept calm, and talked normal. It didn't matter what I said, because this person, wasn't going to listen. At the end of the conversation, I even said, it doesn't matter what I say, because you are going to do it anyways, right? They said yes!
I walked away and went to my bedroom. I cried and prayed/meditated. I cried and exercised. I was in my bedroom for about 2 hours. I was damn proud of myself! I truly let go and trusted! I was thinking about the law of attraction. It's our energy that keeps stuff attached to us, even negative energy. So, with me letting go and trusting, not putting any negativity out there, I prayed everything will be alright.
The next day, the person persisted to do what they said they were going to do. I sat quietly and watched. Not to stare them down, but for my own sanity. To see if I truly let go. Not even 3 minutes into it, they said, it's not as bad as they thought. I didn't say, I told you so. That wasn't the point. I want to be in control of me, not them. The situation ended, no words were spoken and nothing had been damaged!
Yes!! Happy Dance! It was like a cloud had lifted! Not, that I don't care what this person does, of course I do, but "they" don't have control over me anymore and it feels AMAZING! I am more and more in control of my life, because I love me!! Yes!!!
Since this all happened, I have been really meditating, that I'm ready for the next chapter of my life! I really am! I've said it before, but I wasn't ready! That's why the same "crap" happened over and over again, until I got i!
Funny, the first time I said I was ready, I almost threw-up and I had to eat some crackers! LOL! "Fear" was playing with me. But, I threw fear away! It's time and I want it!! When, you get use to something for so long, its' scary taking the next step. Not anymore!!!
Big Hugs!
Funny, at different times in your life, the things you create. I never thought a painting like this would come to me now. Who knows why, but I do know, you have to go with the flow, because if you don't, things will start to screw up! LOL!
