(Grab a drink and relax. Long post)
I dropped one of my larger framed canvases, that I had finished a painting on and I broke the wood frame. I was going to throw it out. I looked at the painting. It was from last year, when I was going through and coming out of things. I thought, no, I'm not going to throw it out! This new painting will be representing, having peace, healing, forgiving the past, lessons learned, and forgiving myself. This painting is representing truly loving me! Being me! I then thought of Magaly Guerrero's poem she wrote at the end of 2015.
Another year’s swallowing its own tail,
riding helter-skelter on the Wheel
of living and dying and living again…
getting me from dizzy to sozzled
on the juices of Chaos’ other brother—
you know him,
he’s the calm-camouflaged Catastrophe
fed by society to all its accepting
.In spring, I lived content
between happiness and heartache,
soaring over a precipice of brilliance,
thinking, Not my drama.
.Then came July’s heat
to sweat a lioness’ dying tears
over a world that screamed,
I waited for the ebb and flow of the status quo
to trip into an endless downward spiral,
where it would choke in stark, tumultuous grief.
But nothing ever changes—Chaos reigns
when we fight the fog while stuck in place.
.So I sat through the fall…
on naps, snacks and blogs…
of sweet blood denied,
of poverty-driven chaos,
of fuckin’ hard goings…
.Winter slapped me like a sickness—
a pandemic of empowerment and changes
shouting into my skull, “Take control ruthlessly.
Misery doesn’t need more friends. Escape
clouds of barely submerged apprehension.
Tongue kiss enlightenment. Reclaim your belief
in dirt, in Faerie, in the resurgence of love, in Self!
Devour this creative boost.”
I am reclaiming my all.
I kissed Gaia with spirit, flesh and bone,
felt my old doors opening,
welcomed the rebirth of inspiration;
I met the eyes of the infant Wheel,
watched them open… open again,
glimpsing the spring of a new me.
I knew then, this painting was going to be called, "Reclaiming My All". I cut the canvas out of the wood frame and the painting came to be. I purposely kept the edges uneven. We all have our uneven edges and we have to love and accept them.
The front of the painting and the back have been primed with gesso. After the painting was completed, I then took embroidery floss, weaved the bottom and top and then made a loop for the hanger. The back and the front have been sprayed with matte varnish. The canvas has a nice thickness to it and will hang beautifully on a wall. The painting is roughly 12.5" x 15.5". I thought, is it too raw? But, in the words of Magaly, "That's what makes it wonderful. When we put all of our feelings into our art: the art comes to life, it breathes, it bleeds, it rejoices and grows with us.”
After the painting was complete, I thought about my journey this year, about loving myself! I have shared this with you, since the beginning. And, you have supported me. It's like we are going through this together. Many of you have written to me personally, about your own journey and that touches my heart, that we are all helping out each other.
I then new, I had to give this painting away. To say thanks to all of you!
I shared with Magaly, what I was doing, because her poem was part of my inspiration. She then shared with me, she was going to do an article about me and the evolution of my art! I was so touched, I started to cry!
So, this became a team effort between Magaly and I.
I would be honoured, if you all go to Magaly's blog now. She is hosting the giveaway. Even if this painting is not calling out to you, her words are very special to me and I would like to share them with you!