Hi Everyone! We have snow! Didn't have it for Christmas, but we finally got it! I love when the earth sleeps. One of my favourite things to do, is to snow shovel at night. Nothing but pure silence, with the snow gently coming down and the sky is crystal clear, with all the stars shining bright!
Did you see the full moon over the holidays? She was amazing! WOW!
Did you see the full moon over the holidays? She was amazing! WOW!
I can't believe it will be 2016 soon! Well, I have to tell you, 2015, was, I think one of the best years of my life. I know some of you might be thinking, Stacy, are you crazy! LOL! Everything for me has came full circle. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I said, yes, I finally get it!
(warning long post, grab a drink and some snacks)
For me, when I have been in relationships, there was always one of two things, either I felt I had to change or there was always major obstacles in the way, that the relationship, could never happen. This was a constant, through my entire life!
I didn't realize, I've never loved myself. I mean, truly love myself!
Feeling I had to change in a relationship, meant, I didn't love myself and never thought I was good enough. Having obstacles, for me meant, that I felt, I never deserved love, because again, I never truly loved myself, and I couldn't truly love someone else, because I didn't love myself first.
Well, guess what, I LOVE ME! I tell myself that through out the day and I also give myself a hug everyday too! I mean I truly love me! From my bald spot on my head, to my scars on my left arm!
And, when the right person is meant to come into my life, he will and I know things will be totally different! No manipulation, no conditions. I guess I never realized how much I "pined" to have someone to love me. But, that wasn't what was going to complete me. Loving myself, is what has completed me! For sure, we all want someone to be by our side, but if that someone, suddenly stopped loving me, I would be back where I started, in the space where love felt lost. When you truly love yourself, you are never alone! I was told one of the hardest things in life to do, is to truly love yourself! So true!
But, I discovered it wasn't just about loving myself. I had lost who I was! I really looked back and I think it was around 2011 on. Sure, I still smiled and painted and went on with life, but I wasn't me. I let what other people said about me, really crush me on the inside. Like if someone said, you laugh too loud. I took it as a personal hit and I truly stopped laughing. I think this year, is when my laugh came back! Through my entire life, I have been known for my laugh! Well, it's back and it's not leaving again! Now, if someone says anything cruel to me, I let them and inside I am telling myself, Stacy, I love you and seriously, I am smiling! I am not saying I'm happy, I am saying, I choose to be happy! There is a difference!
People can say what they want. This is me. If you don't like me, that is fine! I'm coming out baby and I feel good! LOL!
But, it goes the same way with me, towards other people. I have always been a positive person, telling people to believe. Well, now, I have stopped doing that. All, I can do, is to keep sending the people that are close in my life, love and positive energy. I can't change them. They are who they are. I accept them for who they are. I love them for who they are.
The only thing that is sad, is that I have tried to explain to the people that are closest to me, what has happened, they just don't get it. They say, Stacy, if that is what you believe, then that is good. I don't understand why they don't get it, but they don't. And, you know how I was saying, I see the people who are closest to me for who they are. I accept them for who they are. I love them for who they are. Well, sad to say again, these people who have been around me my entire life, not only don't understand what I have been through, but they really don't know the true me. Sometimes I hear them say things about me and I think, that's not me! LOL! I pray one day, they really get to know the true me! The one good thing, is that I feel the energy has changed. Maybe it's because I am standing taller now!
So, for 2016, I am going to be the best me I can be! Yes, I have been told, I am too sweet, or my laugh is too loud, or I am hyper, or I believe too much, my head is in the stars, but I love me and this is me! It feels good to be back!
I am sending out positive energy to all of you. I am sending you love, peace, happiness and good health! Remember, love yourself! And, whatever you want to do in life, do it! It might not turn out the way you wanted it to, but it might turn out better than you expected! And, try to do everything with love and positive energy! Even doing the dishes! It makes the day go by better! Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!
Big Hugs and Much love!
Thanks for sticking by this Crow Gal!
Oh, I have to tell you, this is the first time in my life, that I am going be keeping some of the paintings I have created! I just can't part with them, because for the first time, I have seen me in them and, I really love them!
