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*My Crows* *My Art* *My Way*

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Hey Everyone!
I just finished another painting and since it stopped snowing for a bit, I ran outside to take a picture!

"Allow Your Heart To Guide You"
It's on a 9" x 12" wood panel. The top is Russian birch.

I've been "off" for  awhile, meaning, with the way I have been feeling in my mind!  Letting fear set in! I thought I was over this, but I guess there are still things I am working through, when it comes to loving myself. I have been down the road before with "losing weight" (trying to be healthier). And, I really thought this time, doing it for me, not someone else, it would be different. "But",  I started to feel down and yes, I have been eating! Don't worry, I haven't gained all my weight back! Just a little! But, still, I had to really meditate and think about things. It's like I have a security blanket and I am so afraid of letting it go. (The security blanket is my weight, but also my life.) Why am I so afraid? Because, it's something totally new? Am I afraid of the unknown? I think it's that and change. Since I started this at the beginning of the year,  (loving myself), there has been so much change in me. And, I know this change is going to continue, greatly!

I'm ready! I'm scared! LOL! But, I'm ready! To reach the next step, "journey", of my life, I have to conquer this! I will get there!!!

I'm following my heart (spirit) and letting my mind (ego) go!

Thanks for sticking by me! All of you mean so much to me!!!

Big Hugs and I hope you're all doing well! 

30 comments:

  1. Dearest Stacy, I absolutely love your painting! And you are not alone in what you are going through about fear. I think most of us are afraid of the unknown and new things (be it a job, technology, anything), can be overwhelming sometimes. You are such a lovely person. I think one of the best things we can do is to be kind to ourselves. Sometimes it is easier to be kind to others than to ourselves, but we need to allow ourselves to make mistakes and to learn from them, not to be too hard on ourselves. Love and big hugs. :)

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  2. Your painting is wonderful, it really speaks to me. I know those feelings of insecurity, we all do, and life is full of ups and downs, and often more downs than we want, but keep going! You are on the right way and you can do it! BIG hugs, Valerie

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  3. You are doing brilliantly! It is perfectly acceptable to be afraid or uncertain about change...even when we are the instigators of that change. What ever your doing...it is changing your art in an amazing way...each new piece is my new favourite :D XXX

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  4. Oh Sweetie, it's quite normal to have these little wobbles...you are doing a truly amazing job of turning your life around!!
    YOU ARE AMAZING...YOU ARE SPECIAL...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL...and we all love you so much.
    Please never ever forget that.:))
    And as for your breath-taking talent...well...you are a real inspiration...

    All my Love and Hugs...Always.:)))

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  5. this is such an emotional time of year,, it makes all our troubles seem bigger, you are a beautiful talented loving woman, the journey you're on has no time table and your strength will prevail, leave the down days behind and move on,,you're a winner in my eyes always,, your painting is amazing as always,

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  6. From a discussion among Himself's karate people discussing perfecting their forms and moves, I Found the concept to be quite freeing. It's called Wabi Sabi in Japanese. It means, nothing is perfect, nothing is complete, nothing is permanent.

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  7. What a lovely painting. It talked to my heart Stacy!!! Sorry for your setback. It is perfectly normal when you have startet on your new life!!! You will never go back to where you were. This is only a part of chainging. After all, you are not changing a small thing. This is you and your life - it is hard work. And it has already paid off. Just please, never ever ever ever give up!!! You are in my prayers. Much love and hugs :-)

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  8. I want to hug you and let you know it's going to be better. Don't worry darlin, You are going to be more fabulous, as if you aren't already. Really! You are a beautiful woman!
    When I lost 100 pounds I was in my 40's. I was so scared and yet delighted. I was able to buy and wear jeans for the first time in my life and look good. Then I met my future husband and gained all the weight back. So now I'm losing it all again hoping to fit back into my sexy black jeans. I'm working hard at it because when you get into your 60's it's harder to do everything. So don't be critical of yourself. Remember we women are like fine wines. We get so much better with age.

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  9. Allow Your Heart To Guide You is so inspirational and beautiful Stacy. Just like you! Keep up the good work. Everything will fall into place and your fears will subside. Life is quite a journey.

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  10. Change is always challenging, even if it's for the better.
    Like the new painting!

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  11. Good for you, Stacy, don't give up! It is a long process to "reprogram" our minds away from harmful teachings and ideas but worth it in the end!

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  12. Oh my beautiful Crow friend! I can so relate getting stuck, 2 steps forward, one step back, blah, blah... My wise Sissy calls these wagon wheel ruts that have been our path for so long that we have to get our wheels out of the ruts and start a new path. Knowing this, my ruts are well dug in and it's a day at a time. I blelieve it took us so long to develop the place that has been safe and comfy, even if we don't really like it, it's so easy to go back to it. The amazing thing is YOU REALIZED IT!!!! You caught yourself and that is HUGE! None of us got where we are in life in a few months, and it will take more than a few months to get to where we are going. YOU catching yourself, realizing what is happening, meditating, and doing positive things is GREAT! Recognizing what is happening is GREAT! You are GREAT! You WILL make it, it just takes time. You are a Beautiful, Amazing, Courageous, Artistic, Loving Woman! Hang in there and remember you WILL make it. It's a journey...enjoy the little moments one day at a time! Lotsa Love & Hugs my friend!

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  13. Stacy you are doing so well! It takes time to do what you are doing... The painting is beautiful. It's only a cyber hug, but you are wonderful and big hugs to you!

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  14. I'm chuckling, picturing you running outside to get your pictures taken. I am so happy for you that you were able to check your negative thinking and regroup. We all have those setbacks I think and the important part is to not let it stop you.

    I have had anxiety issues all of my life and during one particularly overwhelming episode, I decided to go see a therapist. My thought was that I could find out how to get rid of the anxiety and start my life anxiety-free. Well, as you have probably guessed, the therapist told me that I would always have the anxiety to some degree or another. That was just the way I was wired, but the important thing was to learn how to live with and not let it rule me. I think it's the same for your self-love. Hugs from me darling.

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  15. Huge hug! Shiney girl! This painting isSpectacular! Truly! There is warmth and grounded charm! Stop being so hard on yourself! Change is a beast, especially as the years go by ( going through myself). Just be the best you each day , one foot in front of the other, smile, head high! March on dear heart!
    A Very Merriest 🎄 Christmas! xoxoxoxoDebi

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  16. You keep going, Stacy. Change is hard at times but overcoming that fear will take you to an entire new level in life and self confidence. You CAN do it!

    I love your latest painting. It's beautiful and a wonderful testament to your story! x

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  17. Stunning artwork, my dear! I love each one of your crows ❤

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  18. You're very brave and I truly think that 2017 will bring you great things. Loving your latest painting. :)

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  19. Years ago, when I was actively studying Zen practice, one of the best lessons I got out of it that has stuck with me to this day was this: My teacher told me that one of the errors of our thinking is to hold to the idea that we will ever be done with something painful in our lives. It's a fallacy because life, and all it holds, is indeed cyclical and that these issues will come around and visit us again. BUT the key is to see progress in how we deal with them and not to expect we will go from one extreme to the other . . .for me Stacy this was about boundaries and setting healthy ones with unhealthy people and believing I deserved to do so. So, if you look at your recent struggle, yes, you have been down this road before and that's not to say you won't move past it at some point but, if this time you caught it a bit sooner and are dealing with it more immediately, then you HAVE grown and progressed and this time you've taken that step forward on that path. I think we set ourselves up by looking at the roads/tendencies of life to be something to be done with, moved on from etc. For me, the road of dealing with boundaries rears it's head again and again and I have to work at it each time it arises. I've seen my progress (over 20 years) and the benefit of keeping healthy and firm boundaries around me and my time is obvious. I accept that I will always likely deal with it to a degree. That's ok, as long as I stay pro active and just take each day and each encounter one at a time. :) YOU are doing FINE! This obstacle will pay a visit from time to time and you'll perhaps come to see it as a gift that you are given, the chance to visit with it and face it so that each time you do, your realization and response will become more ingrained and you will eventually find yourself just greeting it by saying "Oh, it's YOU again?" No thank you, I have other things to do today." lol

    BIG HUGS!

    Be well and BE KIND to yourself!

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  20. First, that painting is gorgeous. I love the crow, but I'm also liking the other details of the painting, like the leaves.

    Second, there is so much more to losing weight, especially when you take someone's emotions around it into consideration. You are doing fine. Set backs are normal. And it's worth it to confront why and how exactly the weight is like a safety blanket for you. Once you do some of the mental heavy lifting, the actual lifting will come easier. Don't give up!

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  21. Having once lost 80 pounds (and now trying to lose the 30 I've gained back!), I can say it's HARD. Very, very hard! Food tastes good, exercise is hard work...it's all just never easy. I know when I'm on track and I've had a good food day, I feel SO good about myself. And that's worth more than the taste of the food. It's just making myself realize that the sense of accomplishment for a day well lived is SO worth it!

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  22. Whenever I feel like I'm about to crumble (yes, it happens to all of us), I remind myself that I've spent a lifetime becoming who I am in body and soul. If I want to change something, it will take time--weeks, months, years... Be patient, Stacy love. And continue to share, when you are feeling low. That's what I do... since it's the only way to allow those who love us hold us when we are not feeling the drive to hold ourselves.

    I'm holding you, walking with you, limping a bit... but ready to do the happy dance, when our bones allow.

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  23. We all have bouts of insecurities. You are doing so good and I'm so proud of you.
    Wishing you happy holidays and a wondrous 2017.
    Hugs

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  24. You are one of my best favoritest online friends.... you are strong, beautiful and adorable! We women have our ups and downs in life but the very core, the one light that pushes us and makes us strong and yes, vulnerable, is the light we have to follow.
    For some of us is hard to stay away from sweets, for others in might be intake amounts and it can be a struggle, much harder, when in winter there is a lot of sweets and yummy junk to eat ...ack!
    You stay strong, you are doing well and have many people that love you and cheer you even at a distance.
    Sending you hugs dear Stacy!!! :o*

    PS Your painting and the new banner are awesome ♥

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  25. First of all...stunning piece of art, dearest Stacy...gorgeous!!!

    Now some encouragement from a not so stable friend...me :}
    You are doing a great job and in order to keep going sometimes one has to take a few steps back. I know it won't be easy to do. I struggle with this day after day...God only knows how many blogs I've had to prove this statement...lol!!!
    You are beautiful...inside and outside. No amount of weight loss will change who you are. Your appearance will change but not the wonderful person that you are.
    Hang in there and take each moment as it comes and do what you feel that you must do in that moment. This is what I do to get through my "spells" ~

    Great big hugs and a whole bunch of love...always!!!
    xoxoxo

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  26. This is a wonderful piece of art. Keep stepping forward in whatever way and whatever time you give yourself - you'll eventually get to where you want to be and you'll look back and wonder why you were in fear about it.

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  27. "Allow Your Heart To Guide You" I love the words and I love the painting.

    Stacey you are doing so well, and YES you will get there.
    You have all of your blogging friends right by your side, sending positive thoughts and big hugs.
    Keep on Stacey ...

    Sending lots of good wishes

    All the best Jan

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  28. The road is long. Everyone gets off course from time to time, but steer in the right direction and you will get where you need to go.

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  29. Stacy my wonderful friend, these setbacks are why we are here I think. I mean that's what I tell myself anyway. If we had it all figured out and perfect, we might just die and poof back into Spirit because we learned all we can and are done here... so enjoy the ride, I'm not ready to go yet,lol!!!! I love you Little Crow!!!!And this painting is one of my very faves of ALL!!!! Hugs!!!!

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  30. 2017. 2017. 2017. new start, even when the end of 2016 or 2016 in general were not thaaaaat good *huggles*

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Thank you for taking the time to comment! I'm very grateful! Your words are very special to me! Big Hugs!