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*My Crows* *My Art* *My Way*

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Hi Everyone! We have snow! Didn't have it for Christmas, but we finally got it! I love when the earth sleeps. One of my favourite things to do, is to snow shovel at night. Nothing but pure silence, with the snow gently coming down and the sky is crystal clear, with all the stars shining bright!

Did you see the full moon over the holidays? She was amazing! WOW!

I can't believe it will be 2016 soon! Well, I have to tell you, 2015, was, I think one of the best years of my life. I know some of you might be thinking, Stacy, are you crazy! LOL! Everything for me has came full circle. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I said, yes, I finally get it!
(warning long post, grab a drink and some snacks) 

For me, when I have been in relationships, there was always one of two things, either I felt I had to change or there was always major obstacles in the way, that the relationship, could never happen. This was a constant, through my entire life! 

I didn't realize, I've never loved myself. I mean, truly love myself! 

Feeling I had to change in a relationship, meant, I didn't love myself and never thought I was good enough. Having obstacles, for me meant, that I felt, I never deserved love, because again, I never truly loved myself, and I couldn't truly love someone else, because I didn't love myself first.

Well, guess what, I LOVE ME! I tell myself that through out the day and I also give myself a hug everyday too! I mean I truly love me! From my bald spot on my head, to my scars on my left arm! 
And, when the right person is meant to come into my life, he will and I know things will be totally different! No manipulation, no conditions. I guess I never realized how much I "pined" to have someone to love me. But, that wasn't what was going to complete me. Loving myself, is what has completed me! For sure, we all want someone to be by our side, but if that someone, suddenly stopped loving me, I would be back where I started, in the space where love felt lost. When you truly love yourself, you are never alone! I was told one of the hardest things in life to do, is to truly love yourself! So true! 

But, I discovered it wasn't just about loving myself. I had lost who I was! I really looked back and I think it was around 2011 on. Sure, I still smiled and painted and went on with life, but I wasn't me. I let what other people said about me, really crush me on the inside. Like if someone said, you laugh too loud. I took it as a personal hit and I truly stopped laughing. I think this year, is when my laugh came back! Through my entire life, I have been known for my laugh! Well, it's back and it's not leaving again! Now, if someone says anything cruel to me, I let them and inside I am telling myself, Stacy, I love you and seriously, I am smiling! I am not saying I'm happy, I am saying, I choose to be happy! There is a difference! 

People can say what they want. This is me. If you don't like me, that is fine! I'm coming out baby and I feel good! LOL! 

But, it goes the same way with me, towards other people. I have always been a positive person, telling people to believe. Well, now, I have stopped doing that. All, I can do, is to keep sending the people that are close in my life, love and positive energy. I can't change them. They are who they are. I accept them for who they are. I love them for who they are. 

The only thing that is sad, is that I have tried to explain to the people that are closest to me, what has happened, they just don't get it. They say, Stacy, if that is what you believe, then that is good. I don't understand why they don't get it, but they don't. And, you know how I was saying, I see the people who are closest to me for who they are. I accept them for who they are. I love them for who they are. Well, sad to say again, these people who have been around me my entire life, not only don't understand what I have been through, but they really don't know the true me. Sometimes I hear them say things about me and I think, that's not me! LOL! I pray one day, they really get to know the true me! The one good thing, is that I feel the energy has changed. Maybe it's because I am standing taller now!

So, for 2016, I am going to be the best me I can be! Yes, I have been told, I am too sweet, or my laugh is too loud, or I am hyper, or I believe too much, my head is in the stars, but I love me and this is me! It feels good to be back!

I am sending out positive energy to all of you. I am sending you love, peace, happiness and good health! Remember, love yourself! And, whatever you want to do in life, do it! It might not turn out the way you wanted it to, but it might turn out better than you expected! And, try to do everything with love and positive energy! Even doing the dishes! It makes the day go by better! Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Hugs and Much love!

Thanks for sticking by this Crow Gal!

Oh, I have to tell you, this is the first time in my life, that I am going be keeping some of the paintings I have created! I just can't part with them, because for the first time, I have seen me in them and, I really love them! 




28 comments:

  1. Happy New Year, my dear and wonderful, Stacy!!!
    Your post is so inspirational and I love who you are! I would never, ever want you to change!
    I , too, have kept a few of my paintings and I am so happy that I have. As you probably know by now I cannot paint anymore...but that is another story. The paintings that I have kept mean something to me and some of the ones that I've sold over the years had a meaning for me, too...but I am so happy with the few that I still have. A secret...I will be trying to paint again in 2016. I may not be able to...but if I do not try again I will never know for sure.
    I love you so much and I appreciate your friendship over the years with all my heart! You are a gorgeous person in so many ways and I love the fact that you "love you!"

    Happy 2016!!!
    All My Love and Hugs
    xoxoxo

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    1. Love you Jan!!! Please paint! I can't wait to see what you create!! Happy 2016 my friend!

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  2. Best new years post ever!!! You finally got it Stacy!!!!!!! I am so happy for you and for what your life will become after such an insight. But do not expect everyone to understand or to know you. I do not bother knowing people inside out - I mean, why is that important? We never do that - and people will never know you inside out. By being who you are is enough - people can think what they will. They will know you for who you are with what you will share with them. I really really hope and pray for you that 2016 will be a shining year and that you will keep up your healing inside. Love you my friend. Big hugs and all the best to mama crow :-)

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    1. Love you Lone!!!!! Thank you for what you said! Very interesting! Happy 2016 my friend!

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  3. Your beautiful post made my heart soar because now I know you will be ok. Happy New Year, my cherished friend!

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  4. Oh dear one, this is a beautiful truth that is yours now. I'm glad you got it sooner than I did in my life. There's no one else who can do as good a job taking care of you than you. Happy New Year to my laughing, self confident, self loving friend. xoxo Oma Linda

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    1. Oma Linda, I feel so happy! Love you Oma Linda! Happy 2016!

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  5. This made me sad and happy. I could have written parts of this, it's like a very long chapter from my life. Once I realized that not everyone will truly know the real me and and accepted that there are parts of myself that wouldn't matter to them anyway, it became easier to breathe. I think when people open up, show their vulnerabilities, it gets too scary for some to go on with a relationship, marriage, friendship, etc. But, then again, some are just stinkers and we are better off free and clear of their influence. Loving and forgiving seem to be an every day, every minute type of test. I need to live within a world of forgiving others, but accept that forgiving myself is the chain that turns the wheel, making all the spokes - love, joy, peace, etc. the valued parts of life. Once in a while, somebody sticks a playing card on the spoke, and it gets loud and fun for a bit, but it's too much to live with every day.

    One of my favorite memories is walking by moonlight over snow covered roads and paths. No street lights needed. It was so quiet except for the crunching of boots and the one lonely bird calling out.

    I hope that you find that everything is lovely and well for you each and every day going forward. Never stop laughing or dancing!

    Lots of good wishes for you and your family from me.

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  6. Oh Stacy what a beautiful post! You are truly a beautiful person and I am glad you are seeing the beauty in you. Your light shines so bright and you give so much! Big hugs dearest Stacy, I am so glad you are in a positive place! I am glad you are keeping some of your art, you do things with such love and that love comes through...

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  7. I love you so much Stacy. Finding one is a constant learning experience. I too have a bald spot on my head and scares on my arm. We are connected even in that. Just know that 2016 is going to be the best year for you and your mom. Hugs to both of you.

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  8. HAPPY NEW YEAR, DEAREST STACY!!! You are so the best!!! Hugs to you and mama crow!!!

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  9. Oh Stacy this post is soooooo ALL OF US!!! I truly am beginning to see this might be the whole reason we are all here on this beautiful Mother Earth, to learn to love ourselves and in doing that we truly can love each other because we realize WE ARE ALL ONE!!!!I soooo enjoy being on this wonderful adventure with you my sweet sweet friend!!! Happy New Year to you and your mom!!!!It's gonna be the best EVER!!!!

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  10. I am so glad you have found yourself this year! You are a wonderful person and I wish I could meet you! Hopefully one day! I definitely need to work on loving myself more, too! Yes, I have had family who struggle to understand me, but that's their loss! Happy new year, hope this will be even better!

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  11. Yay for snow!! Yay. What a lovely post expressing the depths of your heart. Always stay true to YOU! Love ya and have a great new year! :)

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  12. I better not hear anyone telling you that you laugh is too loud or that you are too hyper or that anything of what makes you is too much... If I do, I might have to punch them--don't worry, if you like them, I will take care not to knock out any of their teeth.

    There is nothing more wonderful than loving, accepting, and being completely passionate about who we are. Our true selves will evolve and change here and there, but our love for who we are should be an everlasting (never-changing)thing. I love that you love you. ♥♥♥

    Happy New Year, my beloved Stacy! Give Mama Crow a ginormous hug for me. Then tell her to give you a hug for me, too. :-)

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  13. Stacy, I'm so happy you have come to love yourself. That is the most important thing in life. Everything else falls into place from there. I always love your positive and upbeat personality! How ridiculous those are who think you laugh too loud. They must be miserable inside. Laughter is a beautiful thing that has such positive effect on our insides! Wishing you an amazing, fulfilling 2016!!!

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  14. Sounds like 2015 was a year of a major breakthrough epiphany for you and that's just GREAT! May 2016 be even better for you, Stacy. Happy New Year!

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  15. Oh Stacy, what a beautiful post. It made me smile the entire time. You sound so happy and "crazy" in such a good way - it's contagious! Please please please keep your head in the stars - it's a good place to be!!!
    All the best to you for 2016 - and all the years thereafter!

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  16. Beautiful heartfelt and emotional post. I love it! I also love that you have your laugh back. Shame on anyone who would even try to tame you. You were meant to be wild, free and brave. You are all those things and much, much more, my truly talented friend. Keep learning, exploring, growing and giving. Your light touches many people! Hugs from afar! Happy New Year to you!! xo

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  17. Good for you Stacy! What a wonderful heartfelt post! Here's to a bright and beautiful New Year!Hugs and Blessings sent your way... Diane

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  18. Sooo F a Duck Ms Sweetness, I would not change a hair on your head! Laugh loud & long, dance doing dishes... I have always known I am not perfect BUT I got the most wonderful gift in the world, a family that truly celebrated 'differences' and the things WE COULD DO WELL... so yeah my house is a shitheap, I am NOT a domestic goddess, but I am a good mum, make dinner & fight with my Big F, and I DO NOT judge me... if others want to do it, well that is not my problem, it is THEIRS, I have seen my sweeties be crushed by arseholes words, from (believe or no, LAUGHING TOO LOUD same as you) to hairy legs, eyes too big, being too polite LOL, having boobs too big, having boobs too small... WTF... I really hope they believe (I think they do now) that was/is NEVER their problem, it is the sad toxic arseholes problem that said it to them :) So my Sweetie, I think I may have said to you already... you are fine, BETTER THAN FINE, YOU are AWESOME, and to hell with the others that can't see it ;) So pleased you finally realised sweet can be superb & 2016 Stacy is going to shine xox

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  19. Yes, Stacy, you are right. We have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. I love this post so much. You must copy it and put it into a frame. Just a reminder to yourself. I have a problem with relinquishing my art too. I am now taking photos of my keys and saving them. That helps. Happy 2016. This will be your year. I* just know it.

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  20. It's hard for people to follow your epiphanies with you sometimes, but since this is so positive, maybe they'll just catch on as time goes on?

    I'm one of those people who retracts like I've been punched when someone says something like you laugh too loud. I over think everything, I worry I've said the wrong thing even when nothing is wrong. A lot of it comes down to "just STOP!" and then moving forward... because really, what does it really matter? Does my laugh, or dress size, or whatever affect them so very badly? If so, that's a really sad state of affairs for them, I would think.

    Good things are coming your way. Definitely love yourself. :)

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  21. Happy new year dear Stacey, what a fantasic picture of the moon you caught, it's beautiful. all you can do is be YOU in this world and love yourself, you're a beautiful woman and if folk cant see that..it's their loss.. just be YOU and be happy :)

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  22. Happy new year dear Stacey, what a fantasic picture of the moon you caught, it's beautiful. all you can do is be YOU in this world and love yourself, you're a beautiful woman and if folk cant see that..it's their loss.. just be YOU and be happy :)

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  23. Atta girl Stacy, wow and I love the heading, when I need cheering up I play with my little crow cards lol not kidding, love them,you are wonderful xoxoxo

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  24. I think when we finally realize we have only one person to impress ourselves with and that is ourselves we take the time to see why we love ourselves, we get lost in worry on people pleasing,,its time you loved yourself as much as everyone else loves you,, your eyes will be open now,,this will be yur best year yet, I just know it,,it doesn't matter if the people closest to you don't understand,, its just you that you must please, you must be your genuine self, sounds to me like you are emerging from the layers of your cocoons that have been stifling that true self,,you are always so kind and considerate to others, its time you gave your self that same consideration!Your painting is beautiful and I see you emerging from its depths, what an exciting adventure for you!!

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Thank you for taking the time to comment! I'm very grateful! Your words are very special to me! Big Hugs!